Don't Tell Mercedes
by Kurtrina Hummel
Summary: Kurt, she'll figure it out soon enough." "I know... But this is suicidal on your part."


_**Author's Note: **So... I'm Here for Your Entertainment is still being written. I had this sudden urge though to write this..._

_**Disclaimer: **Don't own gLee or this song by Lustra...  
_

* * *

"Everybody settle down!" Shue yelled over the laughter and idle discussions. Once everyone was seated and quiet, he began again. "Puck asked if he could sing a song today before we get started with rehearsals for Regionals. So give him your respect since he's finally worked hard on something." The gleeks laughed lightly at his comment while Puck set up.

He pulled a cd from his backpack and gingerly placed it into the ready and waiting cd player. He then took out his acoustic and pulled up a stool. Swiping the remote off the shiny black piano, he strapped his instrument onto his body and half sat, half leaned on the stool. He smirked. "Shue's right. I didn't even work this hard on Sweet Caroline." He chuckled before setting his eyes on Mercedes. "This song is for the loud mouth black girl sitting next to the adorable gay kid." He watched with pleasure as confusion flickered across everyone's face except for Kurt's.

He took a deep breath before hitting the play button on the remote and started to softly strum the instrumental opening. Watching Kurt's face turn ten different shades of red at the recognizable riff that was created from the song made Puck feel in control of the entire situation. Smiling once more, he opened his mouth and began to sing.

_Mercedes doesn't know _

_That Hummel and me _

_Do it in my van every Sunday _

_He tells her he's in church _

_But he doesn't go _

_Still he's on his knees _

_And Mercedes doesn't know, oh_

He looked around the room at the faces that know stared at him. Finn and Brittany looked so confused. That was to be expected though, so he really wasn't worried about them. Santana looked absolutely pissed and that made Puck happier than hell right now. Quinn looked disgusted and ready to throw up, but that might have been from the pregnancy... Mike and Matt seemed ready to fall out of their chair from laughing. Wheels and the asian chick seemed really uncomfortable, while Berry seemed happy. It was as if she was in support of them. Kurt was completely red, but a huge grin was spread across his face as he winked up at the halfback.

His gaze finally landed on Mercedes. If looks could kill, he would have died and gone to the lowest level of football Hell. She was pissed and shaking her head at him. He knew she'd kill him later, but the song could only get better.

_Mercedes doesn't know-oh _

_So don't tell Mercedes _

_Mercedes doesn't know _

_Mercedes doesn't know _

_So don't tell Mercedes_

He took another deep breath and glanced out again. Everyone seemed to be getting over the lyrics (except for Mercedes of course) and loosing up and even dancing slightly. He was glad he could make the group come together and be free together just they had been during their covert jam sessions when Sue had stolen half of the glee club. Confidence growing, he continued.

_Hummel says he's out shopping _

_But he's under me and I'm not stopping _

_'Cause Mercedes doesn't know _

_Mercedes doesn't know _

_Mercedes doesn't know _

_Mercedes doesn't know _

_So don't tell Mercedes _

_Mercedes doesn't knoooooow_

_So don't tell Mercedes_

Kurt was standing on his chair dancing, never breaking his eye contact with Puck. All the girls were on their feet trying to imitate the flamboyant male. The only girl not having any fun was Mercedes. She sat in her chair, arms crossed, staring at Kurt.

_I can't believe she's so trusting _

_While I'm right behind you thrusting _

_Hummel's got her on the phone _

_And he's trying not to moan _

_It's a three way call _

_And she knows nothing _

_Nothing_

Mercedes stood up and tried to make her way towards Puck. Luckily, Mike, Matt, and Finn were there to hold her back. He tried to imagine how pissed off she'd be when the song would be done and over with.

_Mercedes doesn't know _

_Mercedes doesn't know _

_Mercedes doesn't know _

_Don't tell Mercedes _

_'Cause Mercedes doesn't know_

_Mercedes doesn't knoooooow _

_Don't tell Mercedes_

Puck strummed along on his guitar. The bridge was quickly coming up and after, the end of the song.

_We'll put on a show _

_Everyone will go _

_Mercedes doesn't know _

_Mercedes doesn't know _

_Mercedes doesn't know_

Puck smirked at the thought of everyone watching as he screwed Kurt. As weird and creepy as that soulmate, he'd be fine with it. He wanted everyone to see the un-perfect side of his Kurt Hummel. The unperfect hair, the discarded designer clothes, the pink tint that would flush its way across his body...

_The parking lot_

_Why not_

_It's so cool_

_When you're on top_

_Her front lawn_

_In the snow_

_Laughing so hard_

_'Cause Mercedes doesn't know_

He wondered what Mercedes would do to him if they actually had sex in her front lawn. Her anger would most likely rival Burt Hummel's when he walked in on them getting them on. That had been awkward...

_Mercedes doesn't know_

_I did him on her birthday_

_Mercedes doesn't know_

_Mercedes doesn't know_

_Mercedes doesn't know_

_Mercedes doesn't know_

_Don't tell Mercedes_

_Mercedes doesn't knoooooow_

Puck watched as Kurt got down from his chair and stood with him, dancing seductively all the while. Mercedes just watched in anger. The cell phone in her hand looked like it would burst from all the pressure. Smirking, he launched into the ending.

_Mercedes will know_

_Mercedes has to know_

_Mercedes' gotta know_

_Gonna tell Mercedes_

_Gonna tell her myself_

_Mercedes has to know_

_Mercedes has to know_

Puck stopped playing his guitar and stood up from the stool. He pulled Kurt to his side and started fist pumping the air watching as the gleeks copied his movement. The music from the cd still playing loud and clear from the speakers.

_Mercedes has to_

_Mercedes has to_

_Mercedes has to go_

The final noted from the disc ended and the gleeks were chanting about how Mercedes didn't know. They clapped while Puck looked on, smiling, proud of himself for once. He had never worked so hard on something in his life and here he was, getting praised for it. He kissed Kurt while they clapped, ignoring the cat calls Mike and Matt were now doing.

"How was that for Regionals? I think it could be a kick ass song to perform. The best part is, no one will know it's being sung for a kid in the act. It's perfect!" Mike yelled over the congratulations.

Mr. Shue walked towards the, with an awkward expression. "That was... different, Puck. I think we could fit it in somewhere. Kurt, start choreographing the song. We'll see what it's like when it all comes together." He gave them a lopsided grin and got on with the glee club business.

***

Glee ended about an hour later. Kurt and Puck walked out to the parking lot hand in hand. Saying goodbye, they were interrupted by Mercedes who was staring them down. Kurt was the first to break the awkward silence.

"Mercedes, understand that nobody knew. We decided that everyone in glee should find out together and your name fit the usic... Well, Santana's name fit too, but we thought you''d take it better than her. I see we were wrong." Kurt looked at her and felt his eyes soften at the look on her face.

Her fists were clenched so that her normal milk chocolate complexion was turning white. She took a deep breath before responding. "I'm... Happy for you both. Just don't break his heart, mohawk, or I'm going to break your face."

Puck smirked at the diva before him. "Don't worry, Aretha. I think he'll breal my heart before I break his." He leaned down and kissed the top of the soprano's head. Mercedes made a disgusted noise and walked away.

Kurt climbed up into his Navigator and rolled his window down. Puck leaned through the window. "So, Hummel. What are you up to on Sunday? Got any plans?"

Kurt smirked over at the halfback. "Sorry, Puck. I have church. Maybe I'll sneak over to see you. Just... don't tell Mercedes." A full blown smile swept over both of their faces. Their lips met once more before Kurt shifted into reverse and drove away, leaving Puck standing there with a grin on his face.


End file.
